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Tea Lovers

t’s quite a challenge to read between the lines in your second language, especially when it comes to mysterious and elusive Irish men. Did you know that when they say “tea” they can mean something different entirely?
In my naivety I agreed once to a hot beverage and got a text in a middle of the night: ‘I’m at your house which apartment are you?’
Sensing that it’s not the drink he was after, I asked if he wanted to meet my boyfriend. It’s still a mystery to me how he knew where I lived.
Anyway, I took a mental note to self: phrase “drinking tea” probably refers to other bodily functions as nobody would become a stalker for a bit of leaves in boiled water.
Understanding Irish men can be quite a challenge. When I worked in a shop on the west coast, there was a fisherman visiting me. ‘Hararu’ he said and followed it with more pirate-like sounds. Poor man couldn’t bare the stability of the dry land so he coped by drinking enough to sway. Eventually I found out that ‘hararu’ is Kerry for ‘how are you’ and from then on I understood more and more; to my regret. He was trying to explain to me that his wife didn’t understand him (how surprising) and I should try an Irish man.
After good few years, I’m back on a market, and a beautiful Irish man I really fancy, invites me for a cup of tea. Imagine the excitement, the anticipation. In my best underwear I knock at the door. He likes my dress and leads me to the kitchen. Sure, I think, I can work with that.  Then he opens a cupboard.
‘I order organic online. Do you prefer green or black?’

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